The past generations of Icelandic women have seen it all.

My grandmother was a mother of six children and often looked after them by herself while my grandfather was away at sea. For modern standards she and my grandfather were impoverished, yet they made it work somehow.

She worked seasonal jobs processing fish at the harbor in the fishing community where she lived with my grandfather to make ends meet.

She always wanted to educate herself but she didn’t because it was simply not an option. She spoke with nostalgia in her voice when she told me about her days at a country school where she spent a couple of years before motherhood knocked on her door. She worked her way through school by looking after the principal’s children and therefore could not attend English and Danish classes.

It was her biggest regret not to learn foreign languages but she never let it stand in her way of happiness.

It’s been almost a year since her passing but I still can’t help but admire her ferocity in making the best of what life gave her.

She was a modest woman whose priority was to look after her loved ones. She was relentless in her efforts to keep her family together, and at times her own children were critical of her selfless choices.

Nonetheless, never did she go against her consciousness and for 20 years she looked after my grandfather after his health declined.

However, the modern Icelandic woman does not have to make the choices she made. The hardships that stood in the way of my grandmother’s education no longer stand in the way of the modern woman.

I made a conscious choice to educate myself and I did that because I learned the value of education at a very young age.

The primary goal of education to me is empowerment and self-reliance. My grandmother certainly possessed both qualities regardless of her lack of education but she certainly would have wanted more for herself.

Modern society grants us women the chance to educate ourselves and I certainly embrace that opportunity.

My mother was one of the very few women in the fishing community where I was raised who was educated and possessed those qualities of which I spoke earlier.

She worked a full day at the office and climbed the stairs of ambition to the very top on a national level. She has followed into her father’s steps and certainly earned her place.

I was surrounded by positive influences in my youth, role models whose strength empowered me with the will to succeed. Thankfully, I am not the only woman whose life has been so affected by strong and independent women.

Both my sisters are successful in their chosen professions. My older sister finished her degree with the University of Iceland while raising a child and with a man often away at sea to support them.

She, however, had already risen to the very top of her field at the mere age of 35 and that with two children and a husband. While rising to fame she and her husband managed to purchase a beautiful home and worked on it from its raw concrete form. 

My younger sister is only 26 but has already finished a Bachelor of Science in engineering and is held in high regard within the establishment where she is employed.

The three of us were taught to be independent and trust in our own abilities, a quality which many Icelandic women possess.

My own niece, who recently had a child, is determined to pursue an education for herself and she too will find her way in the world like the three of us did.

And it’s not just professional ideals I hold in high regard. Faithfulness to one’s dreams and desires is also very important when in pursuit of happiness and fulfillment in life.

A friend of mine with whom I have traveled a great deal has tread unconventional paths and some criticize her choices. But I admire her a great deal. She loves nothing more than to travel and that is exactly what she has done.

I often debated whether to do as she did, that is to live in Iceland and work hard for a certain amount of time, and then embark upon a series of extraordinary traveling. I was the cultural traveler who chose to live in various places while she went for short-term adventures.

Nonetheless, both of us found our way to a degree in the arts and even to love.

It is extraordinary how many Icelandic women pursue success and happiness, and their dreams do come true. For some it is family, for others travel, and for some it is academic and professional success.

The greatest role model for the women of my generation is former President Vigdís Finnbogadóttir. She led the way for lovers of the arts and languages and held the most esteemed position in the country.

Iceland is a good place to be a woman and we have more liberty than women in most other countries. We still have a long way to go for full equality but we know our rights and that we don’t have to choose between having children and a career.

If anything, it is unusual for a woman not to have a career in Iceland.

There certainly is a strong emphasis on having children in Iceland, an expectation that makes most women who are in doubt about having children frustrated.

But at the end of the day, not having children is probably less of a scandal than not having a career.

Once we all come together and accept each other and our independent choices, nothing will stand in our way of breaking down the final barriers in the battle for full equality.

Let’s hope that day comes soon so we can get this inequality nonsense out of the way and get on with our lives, both men and women.

Júlíana Björnsdóttir – juliana@icelandreview.com