Bureaucracy doesn’t have anything to do with democracy. It doesn't matter which kind of government you support, bureaucracy always ends up ruling your life.

From my experience in the places I’ve lived, democracies take pride in being democratic. In schools they teach their youngsters that the purpose of the state is to serve its citizens. Unlike JFK's famous inaugural speech, it's not about them anymore, now it's about us.

The citizens are the justification for the existence of the state and their wellbeing is the end of its goals. Citizens pay taxes to ensure that the state will provide them with security to live free and thrive. Citizens agree to obey the laws of the state in order to create a fair and constructive environment so that all can have the chance to prosper equally.

One of the things that bothered me the most while living in Israel was the relationship between state and church and the ambiguity of the term "Jewish democratic state," which is what Israel proclaims to be.

On a daily basis Israel violets one of the basic rights of its citizens, the right for free choice in marriage. As an Israeli citizen who served the obligatory three years in the army and paid his taxes lawfully, I was forbidden to marry the woman I love under Israeli law.

Marriages in Israel are performed under the auspices of the religious authority of the religious community to which couples belong. If two individuals who belong to different religions decide to get married, they have to go to a civil court, which practically means that they have to get married outside the borders of the Jewish state. There are reasons for this absurd situation, which has affected my life and the lives of many others, but here is not the place to explain them all.

After moving to Iceland I was surprised to learn that these kinds of absurdities are not exclusive to the Jewish state only. Bureaucracy might change its face but it’s always ugly.

After my wife and I got married, she decided to adopt my last name. A common gesture in the outside world, but not in Iceland. Native Icelanders can't give up their original last names and if they decide to adopt a new name it can only be added to the previous name and it can't be too long.

The length of the name has to fit into the form when filling out the application. Apparently, my last name was one letter too long, which gave my wife the option to give up one letter from my last name or to use only the initial instead. I don’t know which option is worse, but I know neither one is what we wished for.

When we decided to have a child, I never thought that naming our baby would bring us to the second chapter of the bureaucracy saga. Apparently, according to Icelandic law, every child that is registered as an Icelandic citizen has to carry at least one Icelandic name.

The list of the approved names is published on the Ministry of Justice and Ecclesiastical Affairs website. Considering that after more than one year of marriage I still have difficulties pronouncing my wife’s name, the list of Icelandic names seems somewhat limited.

I also learned that there is a special committee in charge of human names and for a fee of ISK 2,000 (USD 15.70, EUR 11.90) you can apply for a new name to be approved and added to the list. Looking at the history of people’s requests I knew that I shouldn’t be too optimistic; the committee guidelines are pretty strict and most requests are rejected.

I wonder if wishing to marry the woman I love in the country were I was born is asking too much? Or is it asking too much to be solely responsible for naming your child without following guidelines, asking for permission and filling out forms?

For me the answer is very clear. Iceland never stops to surprise me. Every day I discover more of these small things that make me feel like I’m home.

Guy Gutraiman – gutraiman@gmail.com 

Guy is filling in for Janne Kristensen.