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Mary Had a Little Lamb

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The Icelandic parliament is voting today on whether or not to change the words to the popular children’s nursery rhyme “Mary Had a Little Lamb”.

Proposed by the liberal Left Green Party, which has curiously supported Bobby Fischer's immigration to Iceland, the changes would only affect a few lines, and would go as follows:

“Mary had a little lamb. Its fleece was white as snow. Everywhere that Bobby Fischer went, his former bodyguard and Bobby’s newly appointed babysitter, Saemundur Palsson, was sure to go.”

The union of sheep farmers have unsuccessfully lobbied parliament to halt the proposed changes. They think the new lines will make it even more difficult to sell pure Icelandic lamb to the US. In response, government officials told the union of sheep farmers to, “Shut up, because if it wasn’t for our largesse, you farmers would be broke, and eating dirt clods for breakfast.”

While I understand the arguments put forth by the union of sheep farmers, I think the nursery rhyme must change because Saemundur is attached to Bobby like a modern LoJack system.

Bobby and Saemundur spend so much time together people are starting to gossip. And not only Icelanders. Everyone’s favourite pest-control salesman Tom DeLay, along with James Dobson of Focus on the Family, have held meetings with President Bush, asking the President to consider a Worldwide amendment banning friendship altogether.

I don’t blame them. These close friendships cause people to act crazy. Last week, for example, a friend of mine who happens to be a foreigner was eating lunch in the same Thai restaurant as Bobby when suddenly Mr. Fischer broke into his familiar skat that would make the likes of 50 Cent and Snoop Dog shutter. During Mr. Fischer’s rap he suggested there was a CIA station hidden inside the US embassy here in Reykjavik. Meanwhile, Saemundur just sat there, eating his noodles.

Finally, Bobby and his little lamb got up to leave the restaurant. Noticing that my friend is obviously not Icelandic, Bobby darted up to him, pointed a finger and heatedly accused my friend of being a CIA spy. Then with a nudge from his lamb, Bobby left the building.

Icelanders must be so proud. EW

Views expressed here are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Iceland Review.